Growing up, I had lots of plans for my life...
I wanted to be a runway model and a writer, a fashion designer and a wife and mother.
My first three career options were quickly squashed because I have always been a little too shy to put myself on display for people to judge me. Now Wife... my mother and father have been together since the 9th grade and they are not married. I, of course, have my father's last name and my mother does not. One of the huge reasons, as a child, that I wanted to be married was to have the same last name as my husband and my children. The funny thing (not really haha funny) about that is I've been married for three years and I still haven't legally changed my last name to my husbands. Hmmm. And mother... now I have had some great role models and examples of what a mother should be. Both of my grandmothers (Lillian and Lula) and I was also lucky enough to have other women around me who by choice "mothered" me... Miss Julia and Mia. - may they all rest in peace....and my mother, Dorothy Mae. I hope to be half as good as the women who raised me.

Now I never expected the life of a mother and wife to be an exhilarating lifestyle and I'm not saying its all darkness and drought but what I am saying, is that I'm in a rut.
My family's daily routine (Monday - Friday):
between 5-6:30 AM: alarm goes off. (timing depends on how many times I hit the snooze button) Up and shower, brush teeth
between 5:30 -7AM: dress, beat face, do hair, pack my purse, check Cadence's diaper bag
between 7-7:20 AM: eat breakfast, change Cadence's diaper, coat and hat (don't forget blanket) and pack all of us in the car
between 7:30 -8:15AM: take Cadence to my mother's or my MIL's and head to work
Work (8:30 AM - 4:30 PM)
between 4:50-5:20 PM: pick up Cadence
between 6:00 PM - bedtime: this changes slightly on a daily basis, but not much.... dinner, playtime, bath time, do laundry, do dishes, clean/pick up house, pick out clothes for the next day, then bedtime

Needless to say, I'm bored.
The weekends are a little less routine but even still it's mostly breakfast, shower, dress, playtime, errands, lunch, playtime, naptime, finish laundry I didn't finish during the week, clean/pick up house, playtime, bedtime.

I need something. Anything. An earthquake of my soul to shake up this mundane living.
I love my child. I love my husband. I don't even mind my little, office job sitting in a cube talking to people most days,
but something has to give. It's more than a vacation that I need. It's a life overhaul.
I need an extreme makeover of my life
but at the moment I am Bill Murray and it is Groundhog Day. Every day.
I'm even boring myself as I write this.
It's Saturday and it's naptime, so I should be doing dishes or finishing the laundry.
But I don't want to. Maybe I'll skip it and find something on Netflix. I will regret it later because the dishes and laundry will be waiting.
*sigh*
Vent over.

 


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